The Light at the End of the Refrigerator
It lingers long after the door has been shut. It’s palpable. Like a buff male Olympian on the still rings, it hangs heavy in the air. I can feel it. I can sense it. I can smell it. Like a buff male...
View ArticleStuff!
What are you thinking?: Hey Skirt!! Stuff is happening! Let you know next week! But this is getting closer—http://tinyurl.com/bhjbqlu
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What if there is no place like home?
All my good advice comes from my mother and ‘80’s movies: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." And, “Always change your underwear.” Or, “When...
View Article"I have some news..."
“I have some news…” is a phrase I’ve gotten used to friends uttering lately. In the last ten years, there has been a marked increase in its popularity. I’ve also learned that “I have some news…” is...
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Urine for a Surprise
I was prepared. I thought I had a pretty good understanding of what was in store for me. I mean, I had done my research. I’d talked to friends. I’d read books. I‘d seen Knocked Up. I thought I had been...
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Caught Man Handed
“It’s the little things you’ll miss…” That’s what people say. People also say things like, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” “Don’t cry over spilled milk,” and “Ouch! GET OFF MY FOOT!” Popular...
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Doctors Make Strange Bedfellows
I don’t keep strange bedfellows. Practical words to live by. Generally speaking, I follow this rule closely. Well, I guess “it’s more of a guideline than a rule” (to blatantly steal from Ghostbusters),...
View ArticleCome out baby!
What are you thinking?: Baby is getting a little over cooked in there, but it gave me time to see the new Star Trek movie! http://tinyurl.com/aprcypr
View ArticleDeliver Me from Labor
My husband thinks my underwear is sexy. This is a first for me, because I’m more of an underwear “dress-for-comfort” kind of gal. This has always been a slight disappointment to my husband—or any of my...
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Zzzzzzzz
ZZZZzzzgtun runetneur hamburger fjes;djhgfsneufitna anyrnd rughrrrrrrrr qqqqqqqqqqq hamburger fuwpantue afntuppgnepa enu402ndpr hamburger.Oops. Sorry about that. I thought maybe I could have my dog...
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Secrets Revealed: Mom Jeans
I have uncovered a secret. It’s a secret secret that only mom’s and New York French nannys know. I can explain one of the Great Unexplainable Riddles of Life, like who built the pyramids, and why Joan...
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Coming out of the Closet
Dear Wearer -- I am writing on behalf of the entire Closet so that we may address the many comments and complaints dating from 28 September, 2012 to the present. I would like to point out that I have...
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By Any Other Celebrity Name
I can no longer make excuses. I’ve tried to hide it by pleading sleep deprivation and “baby brain,” but I’m afraid it’s just too obvious. Like my waist line, it’s simply gone. It wouldn’t be so bad,...
View ArticleMadonna was Right
What are you thinking?: Since I started breast feeding the phrase "express yourself" has taken on a whole new meaning.
View ArticlePlaying with Nipples at 4 A.M. (Based on Real Events)
There’s nothing on TV at four o’clock in the morning. This is good because I would hate to get sucked into watching Who’s the Boss reruns until the sun rose. At four o’clock the house is quiet except...
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Being Hit On in My Sleep
My husband and I communicate our relationship needs—like when I need to remind him that it’s time for my foot massage. We are honest and open and forthcoming. We try our best to listen to one another...
View ArticleMen Like Boobs
I’m no expert on men. If I was, I would understand things like grilling, Lay-Z-Boys, and Sportscenter. Yet, even though I’m not an expert, I do know a couple of things about what men like. Men like...
View ArticleHaving His Say (Ghost-written by my husband. (My husband is not a ghost.))
It’s weird. It keeps happening. Every year at this time it’s the same thing over and over. For some reason, the calendar says it’s my Birthday. I am, yet again, another year older than I was the...
View ArticleWrite What You Baby
I think it was Chandler Bing who said, “Write what you know.” Or maybe he’s the one who said, “I’m looking forward to having all the sex.” In any case, I’d like to follow Ms. Chanandler Bong’s advice...
View ArticleAt Least My Vagina Hasn’t Changed
I am that woman. That woman you see with the stroller trying to gracefully maneuver past the heavy door at Starbucks only to find there is nothing graceful about trying to fit an oversized stroller...
View ArticleBreastfeeding
What are you thinking?: At last all those hamburgers I eat are going to someone else's thighs.
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The Sneeze Heard ‘Round the Room
I am done. After power-walking through the neighborhood, bouncing on the exercise ball, and step-touching through our house, my workout routine is finished—and the five-month-old in my arms is now...
View ArticleI Wish My Husband Were Me
Some days I wish my husband were me. Not only would we be able to share clothes, but I’d also have someone to go get a mani/pedi with. Perhaps even slightly better than matching Gel manicures is that...
View ArticleA blog a day?
What are you thinking?: A blog a day 'til Skirt! is gone? Can I do it with a cold and baby? We shall see
View ArticleNO MORES SKIRT?!
What are you thinking?: What will I do? Blog as much as I can here 'til it's over. www.tonilynhornung.com
View ArticleSKIRT! IS CLOSING AND I DON'T WANT TO GO
The ice cream is out. Titanic is in the DVD player all set and ready to go—the problem is I am not. I am not ready to go. I am not ready to say goodbye. What makes it more difficult is that I never saw...
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What I Have Learned About Boobs, Vaginas, Blogging, and Men (and maybe some...
I’ve been me for a while now. 29 years. Okay, give or take a decade. After all this time, I’ve finally gotten to the place where I understand (mostly) what makes me tick—my likes, dislikes, which jeans...
View ArticleMy Fav Skirt! Post
What are you thinking?: In 3 years, this is the one I love- http://skirt.com/tonilyn/blog/who-boss
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Final Thoughts (And I sat next to Channing Tatum last week)
I’ve been sitting here at my desk for literally hours (Okay, maybe 10 minutes), and I got nothing. I wanted to write something poignant and bittersweet for my last blog here at Skirt!, but my mind...
View ArticleTHANK YOU
What are you thinking?: Thanks for everything! Come see me 12/6 at www.tonilynhornung.com
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